Monday, November 5, 2012

Peacocks and Wieners

My little Charlotte just turned two, and is really quite amazing with her language*. I mean, she's no Shakespeare (yet), but she's got 3-4 word sentences down pat AND rules the living room with her renditions of Twinkle Twinkle using her microphone. Seriously though, she really understands things. Like when she's DEMANDING barney, and oh dear LORD the world will just end if she doesn't get BARNEY. We'll bust out the trusty iphone and netflix**, tap tap tappy tap on the icons, and before you can say it to her, she looks at the screen and says "it's loading". W.T.F. Smarty pants and a half.
When she was around 18 months, she had mastered the word truck perfectly. And when I say mastered, I mean her version was so hysterical that we would ask her to say it 976,489 times a day.

I mean, c'mon, how can you not love a kid that screams COCK when she sees a pickup??

Within the last couple months, I had really gotten into Katy Perry's new CD (don't you dare get all judgey on me and my mainstream music tastes. I like PLENTY of tunes that do not play on any known FM stations), one very catchy song in particular. Charlotte would agree. I now have to simply sing "c'mon baby let me see, what you're hiding underneath", and she chimes in and sings PEACOCKCOCKCOCKCOCKCOCKPEACOCKCOCKCOCK
Seriously though, I actually attempted to nip that one in the bud. I think I played/sang it once in front of her before I realized that, yeah, that's a smidge inapprope for a wee tyke. She catches onto rhythm FAST though, and will just sing this one from time to time. It really is cute... I know, I KNOW. I'm an awful human being.

To top it ALL off, last week (during our super romantic anniversary target trip) Todd found this greeting card:

Well, you can guess how quickly it took for him to show our dear daughter, who immediately laughed, and then said "wiener wiener WIENER". Fortunately, I don't think I've heard that penis reference since.

Seriously though, are we noticing there is a trend here... cock, cock, wiener. Oh dear lord. I would like to mention though, that although her mother might have a foul mouth, and her father isn't far behind, she has yet to utter an actual curse word. *Knocks on Wood*

*I swear, this isn't a mommy brag post...
**We do NOT always give in. It's usually in public places that we cave to avoid the near impossible-to-avoid 2 year old tantrum.

Friday, November 2, 2012

So Called Blogging

Circa 2009, I was blogging quite a bit... and really liking it. I quit because A) I can be super paranoid and freak myself out and think that all my colleagues have somehow found it and are secretly making fun of me, and B) because I got myself stuck in this weird ass web of deceit.
A little history:
2008: Jamie told me start blogging because I'm random and my stories can be so weird and complicated that she thought it would be fun to read.
2009: I was blogging a few times a week, with a couple known followers (Jamie and Natalie) and few unknown. The one person who didn't know? My husband. Yeah. How lame is that. At first I was embarrassed and nobody but Jamie knew. Then Natalie somehow stalked me found it and started reading/commenting often. And then it turned into this full fledged "thing", this little alter ego that Todd knew nothing about. At first I was all "I'll tell him soon", and then it was "I'll tell him this weekend" and then it was like "oh my god what if Jamie texts me about it and he reads it and that's how he finds out!". So I think (think because this was 3 years and 2 pregnancies ago.......) I casually dropped the info during some random conversation and I'm not sure what the outcome was, but I decided to just delete it. Because what if he didn't like what I'd written? He was the source of some of the topics, as were our pets, our friends, our family... asl;kdfja;slkdfjas;df.

Flash foward to yesterday, our 4th anniversary (I know, aaaaaaawww!) and a trip to target after our dinner out (we is so romantic). Binders were on sale! And I wanted one to write my thoughts down in! Because that's what I used to do online and I miss it! He wanted to know more details about this so called blog, and seemed genuinely interested in reading my past work (which now lies with the gods of the interwebs, somewhere deep and dark). Sooooooo, long story long, I've decided to try and attempt this whole bloggy blog business again (we'll see how that goes... I think I lost some of my sense of humor with all that baby stuff) and Todd is all in this time, whooo!